Good morning. How are you today? Bloom your own way, at your very best. This is Shima, from Oubaitori.com. Morning daimoku, ten thousand times. Number 1,141.
For two or three days my head has been heavy. Something is wrong, I kept thinking. Heat exhaustion, perhaps. Or simply age. Then this morning, talking with my wife, I understood what it was.
Why my mind was so tired
Yesterday I spent the whole morning looking into one matter. Searching, worrying, searching again. By evening my mind was spent. I had not been drinking. In this heat I keep the days apart, drinking days and not-drinking days. I look after my health. Still, my head stayed heavy.
It was not the heat. It was not my body. I was standing just in front of a decision.
“The time to change has come”
The words came out while we talked. It is a change. The time to change has come.
There is something I have been doing, and I must decide whether to continue it or end it. From the first of September the shape of it changes. I am standing just before that line. Go forward, or turn back. The moment has come around again.
It may sound like a small thing. But a life turns on these small forks. That is why the mind grows tired. Of course it does.
Two days early
Today is the twenty-sixth of August. I have set my own deadline: Friday the twenty-eighth. Two days from now. That margin surprised me.
The old me had no such margin. I would drag a decision to the last hour, or my head would overheat first and I could no longer think at all. This time I drew a line two days ahead and said, by then I will decide. And I could rest inside that line.
I believe this came from daimoku. I have not become faster. I have not stopped hesitating. But I can now stand still inside the hesitation, with a date on it. Human revolution shows up in plain places like this. That is what I felt this morning.
Let’s Daimoku!
To keep chanting. That, I saw again today, is what my own heart truly wants.
Perhaps a fork stands in front of you as well. While the answer has not come, chant first. Before the answer arrives, the self who can receive it begins to form. Thank you for being here this morning.
🙏 From Yukihiro Shima — Oubaitori.com
Bloom your own way, at your very best.
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